Saturday, March 31, 2007
The Tragedy of McDonald
Well, Mr. Nickel told me to put it online for others to see, and to get others to read it so here it is: I give you McDonald (spin-off on Macbeth).
Act 3, Scene 1
Characters: Narrator, Ronald McDonald (Macbeth), Worker (Attendant), Birdie (the McDonald's character, playing First Murderer), and a Chef (Second Murderer).
Narrator: This is a story of friends turned foe
A classic tale of Macbeth and Banquo
That has taken a twist across the times,
Now they are former hockey players and talking mimes
Ronald McDonald and Timmy were friends
Until one day their friendship ends
When Mr. McDonald hires three mysterious chefs
To sabotage Tim Horton, ensuring his business’ death.
McDonald: Oh dear Tim Horton, my old friend
Do what you wish until your end
For tonight, after my shift
My fry cooks will meet you with actions swift
Now where are those cooks?
Worker: They’re in the back room, balancing the books.
McDonald: Bring them to me!
Manager of McDonalds I may be…
But as long as Tim Horton is in the way
Never will I see the day
That I shall be owner of them all
All fast food chains, big and small!
Burger King and Wendy’s I already own
Now it’s up to my fry cooks to set the tone
For me to take over, if prophecy and fate agree,
I’ll steal Tim Horton’s famous iced cap recipe!
[Birdie and Chef enter].
Aha! You are here,
Come in close, gather near
I have a special task for you
Birdie: What is it you want us to do?
McDonald: Listen close to what I say
At the end of our shift, at the end of the day
You will sneak quietly into Timmy’s
And take hold of their secret recipes!
Flying Girl: Okay, sounds good, Ronald sir,
And just so you know, with you I concur.
When we worked for him he made us so mad,
Now were going to get him so bad.
Act 3, Scene 3
Characters: Tim Horton (Banquo), Birdie (First Murderer), Chef (Second Murderer), Hamburglar (Third Murderer).
[Tim Horton walks outside after locking up his restaurant and starts walking towards the Chefs].
Birdie: Oh look he’s leaving.
Let’s find that recipe we’re to be retrieving.
Quick, sneak in, he’s checking his phone.
Tim Horton: [opens his phone] Hello, Tim Horton here!
Chef: Hurry, stay out of his no-zone!
Birdie, Hamburglar [who suddenly appears], and Chef: No-zone, stay out of the no-zone!
Birdie: Who sent you here?
Hamburglar: McDonald did, my dear.
Chef: Why he’s here doesn’t matter,
Let’s go steal their cookie batter!
[Open the door and sneak inside Tim Horton’s restaurant].
Birdie: O wait, there’s something I need to say:
We’re taking the small door, is that okay?
Or would you rather go through the garage door?
Hamburglar: I don’t get it, can you explain it more?
Chef: Where should we look?
Birdie: I don’t know, you’re the cook.
[Birdie, Hamburglar, and Chef look around, rummaging through boxes, papers, etc].
Hamburglar: We’ve been looking around for half an hour. We need some electrical power. Give us a light there, ho!
[Tim Horton walks in and turns on light].
Hamburglar: Thank you. Let’s look down this row.
[Birdie and Chef walk down audience rows].
Tim Horton: No problem, I'd be much obliged.
[Three chefs gasp, act frightened, and start to panic].
Chef: I’ve got the recipe, run and hide!
[Chefs run past Tim Horton, knocking him over onto the floor, and run for the door].
Labels: School
