Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Redberry Experience

Wow...what to say??? Redberry was amazing. And that's just put lightly. It felt like God was right there with us, touching people's hearts. You can find God anywhere, all you have to do is search for him. We did, and he was definitely there with us. Awesome, God!

Our campfire was a major highlight for me (I think it was for most people!) We just opened up our hearts and shared about what was going on in our lives. Obstacles, goals, achievements, whatever: it was definitely all said. And most people cried! Including me! (and apparently, I am a basket case). Fellowship. Excellent.

The "Encouragement Stick". O man, I cried during this one too. What Michelle and Brittany, and even Mr. Weber said to me really really touched me. I don't even know why he would choose to talk to me out of everyone there, but I really liked what he had to say. Apparently, I'm like Joseph. I was reading that story over today and I'm at the point where I understand what he was getting at...it's really cool.

Here's another thing I will remember forever too: Colin just running up to me crying and hugging me. So we just kind of stood there and cried and hugged and talked. I totally felt God there too...it was selfless and just out of brotherly love. So there we were, just standing there together, crying and praying for Erin. It was amazing, because I never would have thought that Colin would have cried like that. Same goes for Ryan and Dylan. It feels like something is really going to change between some of us. We just have to be open to it.

Praying for Erin was amazing too...God was just totally leading me, and I felt really ready and prepared to do that--just put my hand on her shoulder and pray out loud for her. And Amy and Dylan...man, my heart goes out to them tonight. I know exactly how they feel. I've been there myself.

So now I guess I'm praying harder than ever that our class can completely break down those walls that cliques have built. Walls of indifference and apathy and self-centeredness. But like I said, everybody has to be into it. I know we can do it, we just have to work together. Team building!

I wish I had the time and strength to write on here about all the reasons I cried at Redberry, and why I'm crying right now. But I am just not ready to. Just have to keep fighting for now. Anyway, peace out. Have a nice evening.

♥Erika

Labels: Erika's Life Updates, Spiritual Life

Sunday, June 04, 2006
Zero

Your Life dreams are shattered,
Now you're gone away.
We've cried here for hours,
And the hours turn to days.
We know you regret this,
Leaving us here,
With portraits and memories
That we've held so dear.

When I hear your name, it's not the same.
No matter what they say, I'm not okay.
And we started at zero, and went different ways.
Now we're all out here wasting away.
And if we started at zero, then how did things change?
It seems like just yesterday we were the same.

.

Why do people have to change? And why does it have to be so painful when they do? I don't have the time or strength to go into detail about this. But why? Why do people have to change? Why did I have to change?

.

Father, I love You. But why does this have to be so hard? Give me strength: to know I'll be okay, to know that I am strong, to know that You're looking out for me. Help me to remember what you promised me. Help me find some way out of this confusing mess. Just bring me some peace of mind, some clarity. I love You, and I know You love me.

I try Daddy, but it's hard.

It's hard to have to start at zero, over and over and over.

It's hard to be hated. Despised. Rejected.

It's hard to live and believe and breathe You 24/7.

It's so hard, but I'm trying. I really am.

Love You forever.

-Erika

Labels: Lyrics