Monday, May 26, 2008
Lover

Check out these lyrics from Nevertheless!


I am a lover.
I am a shame.
I am appalled by the things that I fame.


I am a lover,
but I've had my share of flirting with the darkest affairs.

And you can find me here,
with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets
and every time I fall you catch me in your hands.

You circle me like a wedding band.


I have a lover,
faithful and true.
He cares for me in all that I do.


I have a lover,
my song He has sung with love on His lips and
grace on His tongue.


And you can find me here
with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets
and every time I fall you catch me in your hands.


You circle me like a wedding band.


A promise from Heaven,
a promise from You,
a promise to love,
I will hold on to.


God of new beginnings,
to You I cry,
Teach me how to love;
teach me how to die.


In death there's forgiveness,
and forgiveness calls on new life.
So You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets
and every time I fall you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
A promise from Heaven, a promise from You...

(Write love on your arm...)

Labels: Lyrics

Monday, March 31, 2008
Soap Operas and Sewing Machines

I feel as if I am living in a soap opera. Seriously. My friends are all either falling in love or going crazy. It's ridiculous. Actually. I guess all I can do for now is cling to the fact that God is always faithful, no matter how many things in my world begin to change.

"Faithful"--Amanda Falk
Here we are again Lord
We've had this conversation a dozen times before
And it always comes back 'round
to the things I am always looking for: to be assured
When I can't be sure

But God, you are faithful
When my faith is gone
When I am so fragile
I know I'm not alone

Can't try to understand it
Wrap my mind around the wonder of it all
When everything is crumbling
Tumbling in my world, I start to fall
And you are near me
It's not so clear but

God, you are faithful
When my faith is gone
When I am so fragile
I know I'm not alone

God, you are faithful
When my faith is gone
When I am so fragile
I know I'm not alone

And we run to you
There's nowhere else to go
The one thing that I know

And we'll come to you
when there's nowhere else to turn
The one thing that I've learned

Oh, God, you are faithful
When my faith is gone
When I am so fragile
I know I'm not alone

God, you are faithful
When my faith is gone
When I am so fragile
I know I'm not alone

Amen.

Labels: Lyrics, Spiritual Life

Saturday, September 22, 2007
East to West

So today I went to Parables and bought 4 cds. It was really fun, and I didn't totally blow all my cash because I had a certificate. But anyway, I bought Casting Crown's "The Altar and the Door" and it's really good. Check out these lyrics to one of their new songs, it pretty much applies to me right now.

East to West

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I star t the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word revelas
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me.
Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other.

Labels: Lyrics

Thursday, April 12, 2007
Lioness

So, this is Spring Break? I can't believe it snowed again, but I guess that's what you're in for when you live in Saskatchewan! At least it seems to be warming up now. So, it's been a little while again (where does the time go?) and I've got a bunch of ranting to do!

If two people are "in love", why do they have to continually progress farther sexually? I know it can feel different when you're in "the heat of the moment"...but can't we (especially as girls) have enough courage to stand up for our purity?

I know that one day I want to be able to give my whole self to my husband; to say to him, "I saved myself for you." This is proving to be more and more difficult, it seems, for anyone in such a sex-crazed culture. It is extremely easy to get sucked into a deeply physical relationship. I say this because I know some people who are there right now.

Personally, I don't think I want to go past holding hands, light kissing, etc. in any relationship I'm in. I don't think I would feel good about making out with someone I knew I wouldn't spend my life with. So if I get into that, I give everyone reading this permission to slap me across the face.

Temptation plays a big role in sexual purity...and it can be hard to overcome. But look into the Bible and you'll see that Jesus overcame temptation by praying and with scripture in Matthew 4. Later in Matthew 26:41, he tells the disciples to "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Isn't that true? I know what I want to do, and I'm always trying hard to do good...but I'm so weak! I give in so easily sometimes.

I really like this verse in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Isn't that amazing! I don't know about you, but that gives me so much hope! While I'm on this topic, I thought I'd throw in some lyrics from Dead Poetic. Enjoy!

She's a god in her own right
She dims the room light
As she moves closer
We all move slower.

Tracing white lines
Sipping fine wines
We remember when purity wasn't dead.

In this darkness I can't remember when
We were stable, we were able!

The sex is the lioness,
"Queen of the Temple"
I look right in her eyes
Then down to her level.

She'll play unstable and let you get away
You get her faded but not her name.
You've taken something sacred and made it a game
Your perversions are wicked and fanning the flame.

The sex is the liar.
The sex is the LIAR.

He takes over my scars and I put my life in His.

Labels: Lyrics, Rant, Spiritual Life

Friday, January 05, 2007
Short and Untitled

They say that sometimes you are farther than the moon
and sometimes you are closer than my skin.
Indeed, I remember back when you were closer than my skin;
Those were the evenings spent alone with you in bliss,
Those were the mornings when you awoke me by a gentle kiss;
And these are the evenings when I sit alone and wish and reminisce,
and these are the mornings when I wake to an alarm clock after falling asleep with the hurting thought:
Why have you forsaken me?

Labels: Lyrics, Poetry

Sunday, December 03, 2006
Spirit (Prayer)

Spirit, fall fresh on me
Spirit, fall fresh on me
Hear my cry
Fill my life

I won't need anything but You

I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You

Wasted time
Is when I'm far from your truth
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You

Spirit, come be my joy
Spirit, come be my joy
Be my song
Fill my lungs

I won't need anything but You

I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You

Wasted time
Is when I'm far from your truth
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You

I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You

Wasted time
Is when I'm far from your truth
I've found all that I want
All that I long for in You.

I've found all that I want
All that I long for is You
I've found all that I want
All that I long for is You...

Labels: Lyrics, Spiritual Life

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year?

Today Mr. Nickel pointed out something to our class that we all kind of secretly realized: the fact that in general the girls are at a high/positive level for the most part and the boys are at a low/negative level for the most part. Our class is like the great divide when it comes to girls and guys...girls on one side of the room, guys on the other. And no, it is not because we are all grade 3ish and still think there are cooties, it's because we're not on the same level.

And when we do all decide to hang out...that's all we do, hang out. Intelligent conversations going on=0. Instead of the girls pulling up the guys and motivating them we sink down to their level. And why should we?

It's like us girls are standing on top of a table and trying to pull the guys up on top. But they're so much stronger for some reason and it is so much easier for them to pull us down.

So here it is: our second year in high school...do we make it a sophomore slump...or have that comeback of the year as "the golden class"? I guess it's up to us. All I know is that I'm tired of bringing myself down to that level and making myself look so foolish. And I'm tired of everyone else looking so foolish too. There is no need for that.

Are we going up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears, put them on ice
'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light...

Labels: Lyrics, Rant, School

Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mood Rings

According to Relient K, girls should wear mood rings so that guys can figure out what they're thinking. (We all know the girls that I am talking about, they are time bombs and they are ticking, and the only question's when they'll blow up...they're those girls [yeah you know those girls] who let their emotions get the best of them...)

But according to me, guys need mood rings too. Especially some in particular (*cough cough* if you go to my school, you should know what I mean). So in Relient K's song "Mood Rings" I changed the word "girl" to "guy" and "hair" to "car" and stuff like that. Don't ask why, I'm bored:

We all know the guys that I am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question's when they'll blow up
And they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt
Cause they're those guys, yeah you know those guys who let their emotions get the best of them.
And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow woman:

Let's get emotional guys to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cuz we'll know just what they're thinking

He's a good person but he doesn't always act that way
His mood's out swinging on the swingset almost everyday
He said to me that he's "so happy it's depressing"
And all I said was, "Someone, get that guy a mood ring!"

If it's drama you want, then look no further
He's like the real world meets Boy Meets World meets Days of Our Lives
And it just kills me how he gets away with murder
He'll anger you then hold you tight, hold you tight with all his might

He's a nice person but he doesn't always act that way
His mood's out swinging on the swingset almost everyday
He said to me that he's "so stressed out it's soothing"
And all I said was, "Someone, get that guy a mood ring!"

Cause when it's black means watch your back because you're probably
The last person in the world right now he wants to see
And when it's blue it means that you should call him up immediately
and ask him out because he'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that he is really stressed
And when it's clear it means he's completely emotionless
And that's alright, I must confess...

We all know the guys that I am talking about
He liked you Wednesday but now it's Friday
and he has to wash his car
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
First he's Jekyll and then he's Hyde...
at least he makes a lovely pair.

Mood ring, oh mood ring
Oh tell me, will you bring
the key to unlock this mystery
Of guys and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the male mind...

Labels: Lyrics, Rant

Sunday, October 01, 2006
Here it Comes, a Beautiful Collision...

Right now, I'm loving David Crowder's album "A Collision". It's showing me that worship shouldn't be about tradition, but it shouldn't be about trying to be all cool or high and mighty either...it's about coming to God honestly, with an open heart full of adoration for Him. So anyway, here's lyrics from a song of his, "A Beautiful Collision":

The breaking makes a sound I never knew could be so beautiful and loud, fury filled and we collide.
So courageous until now, fumbling and scared.
So afraid You'll find me out, alone here with my doubt.
Here it comes, a beautiful collision is happening now.
There seems to be no end to where You begin and there I am, now You and I collide.
Something circling inside, spaciously you fly, infinite and wide, like the moon and sky collide.
Here it comes, here it comes now...

I'm learning that God and I colliding truly is wonderful.

When my depravity meets His divinity it is a beautiful collision.

Labels: Lyrics, Spiritual Life

Sunday, August 13, 2006
Caroline

Where do I begin?
There’s so much I want to say to make it easier
Tomorrow’s on it’s way
Do you believe I want to take your painful memories?
I know you want to run away
I know that you can’t see tomorrow

Chorus:
Caroline, let me wipe away your tears and give you life,
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline, don’t throw it all away
I’m here tonight to take away your pain.

Yesterday is gone and everything that made you cry has fallen to the ground
I’m here to bring you home,
I will always take you back
You haven’t let me down
I know you want to run away
I know that you can’t see tomorrow

(Chorus)

And when you’re feeling al alone and you can’t go on,
Remember I am here
And when you think you’ve gone too far,
I‘ll meet you where you are
My arms are open wide

I love this song! (It's by Seventh Day Slumber, by the way). If a guy ever wrote me a song like this, I would love him forever. Who wouldn't?

Labels: Lyrics

Sunday, June 04, 2006
Zero

Your Life dreams are shattered,
Now you're gone away.
We've cried here for hours,
And the hours turn to days.
We know you regret this,
Leaving us here,
With portraits and memories
That we've held so dear.

When I hear your name, it's not the same.
No matter what they say, I'm not okay.
And we started at zero, and went different ways.
Now we're all out here wasting away.
And if we started at zero, then how did things change?
It seems like just yesterday we were the same.

.

Why do people have to change? And why does it have to be so painful when they do? I don't have the time or strength to go into detail about this. But why? Why do people have to change? Why did I have to change?

.

Father, I love You. But why does this have to be so hard? Give me strength: to know I'll be okay, to know that I am strong, to know that You're looking out for me. Help me to remember what you promised me. Help me find some way out of this confusing mess. Just bring me some peace of mind, some clarity. I love You, and I know You love me.

I try Daddy, but it's hard.

It's hard to have to start at zero, over and over and over.

It's hard to be hated. Despised. Rejected.

It's hard to live and believe and breathe You 24/7.

It's so hard, but I'm trying. I really am.

Love You forever.

-Erika

Labels: Lyrics

Saturday, April 22, 2006
Catch Me When I Fall

Here are my verses for today (from Psalm 55:16-22)

I call to God;
He will help me.

At dusk, dawn, and noon I sigh
deep sighs--he hears, he rescues.

My life is well and whole, secure
in the middle of danger
Even while thousands
are lined up against me.

God hears it all, and from his judge's bench
puts them in their place.
But, set in their ways, they won't change;
they pay him no mind.

And this, my best friend, betrayed his best friends;
his life betrayed his word.

All my life I've been charmed by his speech,
never dreaming he'd turn on me.
His words, which were music to my ears,
turned to daggers in my heart.

Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders--
he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.
He'll never let good people
topple into ruin.


CATCH ME
Catch me, Lord
When I fall
Sometimes I don't see clearly
Sometimes I don't see at all
I need Your strong hand
to guide me through
I need Your loving heart
to show me what to do

To love others unconditionally
To accept them and to forgive
To release these heavy burdens
And to begin to really live

Catch me, Lord
When I fall
Let me hear Your sweet voice
When You call
"Do unto others as you would have done unto you"
"Sow mercy as you've been given mercy"
"Love them as I have loved you"

Catch me, Lord
Catch me when I fall
.elw.

CATCH ME WHEN I FALL (lyrics from Ashlee Simpson)
Is anybody out there?
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone

So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there?
Does anyobdy see?
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
And not ashamed to see me crawl?

Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

Labels: Lyrics, Poetry

Monday, March 20, 2006
Out of Control

My grandpa is in the hospital. He is having chest pains and he's waiting for tests to find out what's wrong. I'm pulling for him, 100%.

I would not be able to bear to lose him. Not now. I went to visit him today and I'm crying right now over the fact that my life would never be the same if he left. But just talking to him, I remembered of how great of a man he is. He was much more interested in what was going on in my life than all the terrible things he was going through. He's amazing.

Situations like this always remind me that I have little to no control over anything in this life. God is in control of it all. So whatever this is, I know it's going to be okay.

Sometimes it's okay to be out of control. With God at the wheel life is a lot more comforting, but he does take some unexpected turns sometimes.

OUT OF CONTROL

What I needed to hear wasn't coming in clear
and what I now know is only partial info
I speak over tempo to put words into motion
you can't stay stagnant with the future that's approching
So where do you stand?
It's either break or be broken.
Forget dry land I'd rather stand in the ocean
and let the waves of devotion roll over me
Irony, I had to suffocate before I could breathe
I'm in a head space I've never been before
ever since my feet hit the shore
I tell you boy it feels good so give me some more
it feels good

It's a bit passionate for your radio
but that's alright though it's good for your soul
and it feels good to be out of control
I said it feels good to be out of control

Now ain't that something adrenaline rushing
and I'm touching the heart of God and adjusting
rather nicely to the feeling that's inside of me alive in me
continually guiding me and surprising me
It's beyond my reach but it's in my grasp
I walk steadfast along a narrow path
Avoiding snares and traps and all else that seems to keep me
from who I need to be right now I'm thinking clearly
and I'm in a head space I've never been before
ever since my feet hit the shore I tell you ha,
it feels good so give me some more
it feels good...

Labels: Erika's Life Updates, Lyrics

Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Heartbreak is Over

Sunlight on my windowpane
Something new running through my veins
Every day is like a new beginning
It's something about the way I'm feeling
When you say you love me

Your words are ringing over and over
Changing everything I thought I knew
I know a love that's true
And it's all because of You
All because of You.

God: I feel Him everywhere and it's wonderful. I was in the dark for such a long time but I finally know who I am and even though I don't know where I am going in this life, I am enjoying the ride.

It should have been such a simple thing to grasp, growing up at church, but I always seem to forget: God loves me. No matter how many times I ignore him, disobey him, treat him like trash he always loves me. Which is incredible, because I've never met anyone in this world who is like that.

I used to be so sad all the time, even if I was always smiling. But all of that is gone now and I am so glad. Depressing poetry can be amazing and extremely touching but it was definitely time for me to outgrow it. I may not have everything figured out yet; there are a lot of things that I'm still unsure of. But all I know: the heartbreak is over.


ON THE RIDE

Life has moments hard to describe
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this mountain we're on (mountain we're on)
Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this mountain we're on (mountain we're on)
The view is so clear
and it's crazy up here:
Life is amazing with You on the ride.

Labels: Erika's Life Updates, Lyrics

Sunday, February 05, 2006
Come Between Everything

The ties that bind our hands are on our necks and we're strangling for our final breath.
We pass the torch along to our kids; we're burning their minds, but we can't touch their hearts.
Until our tears fall in love, I'll stitch my cheek to yours and we'll dance all night under the moonlight.
Like present-day towers, I'll crumble to a crashing defeat and in the blackout we'll fall into a dream.
Your love, what more could I sing of?
Your eyes, they were my first love.
We'll start right back again like a million times before, though we've fallen like leaves during autumn.
Our tears are mad in love and our cheeks are red and blush, but I don't want to go to sleep, so I'll just fall into a dream.
Come between everything;
Come between everything and blow me away.

Labels: Lyrics

Monday, January 23, 2006
Pages Yet to be Written

Ha. So today I'm feeling like my life is in a rut and I'm not totally sure why. Just a feeling, I guess. It's like I'm standing still and the world keeps on spinning right in front of me. It's the kind of feeling of how you just want to crawl into a dark hole and die, so you can forever be separated from the world or something.

Yeah, so the dark hole, that's where I am.

Okay, nevermind that was a bit of a lie. That's where I'm feeling I am, but it's only because there's no one there with me right now. Actually, I'm kind of in the opposite situation. For the first time I am actually beginning to realize that God has so much more in store for my life than I ever thought possible. It's like I'm finally able to see things in a whole new light: God's light.

Everything has been changing so fast and I hate it. But now I know why it's happening, and it's really for my benefit. God's just trying to start a new chapter in my book, and I think He has His work cut out for Him: there are a lot of pages left to be written.

Read it sometime, it's a real page turner.

Pages Yet to be Written, lyrics from Slow Coming Day

Another page turns in my life as I'm left here
Contemplating how the sky can appear so clear
Then turn gray and as the rain falls down on my face.
And as the rain falls on my face,
A darkness lingers.
And haunting memories plague my mind.
Vivid pictures of all the past times
And all I left behind, I left behind.
I'm standing in a crowd, yet I am all alone.
Trying to figure out just what went wrong here
And as the rain falls down on my face.
And as the rain falls on my face, a darkness lingers.
And haunting memories plague my mind.
Vivid pictures of all the past times and all I left behind,
I left behind.

Labels: Erika's Life Updates, Lyrics