Friday, October 27, 2006
Go Lions!

Yeah! VCA girls won 5-2!!! Provincial Gold medal game tomorrow!!!

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Erika on 9:40 PM
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Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mood Rings

According to Relient K, girls should wear mood rings so that guys can figure out what they're thinking. (We all know the girls that I am talking about, they are time bombs and they are ticking, and the only question's when they'll blow up...they're those girls [yeah you know those girls] who let their emotions get the best of them...)

But according to me, guys need mood rings too. Especially some in particular (*cough cough* if you go to my school, you should know what I mean). So in Relient K's song "Mood Rings" I changed the word "girl" to "guy" and "hair" to "car" and stuff like that. Don't ask why, I'm bored:

We all know the guys that I am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question's when they'll blow up
And they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt
Cause they're those guys, yeah you know those guys who let their emotions get the best of them.
And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow woman:

Let's get emotional guys to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cuz we'll know just what they're thinking

He's a good person but he doesn't always act that way
His mood's out swinging on the swingset almost everyday
He said to me that he's "so happy it's depressing"
And all I said was, "Someone, get that guy a mood ring!"

If it's drama you want, then look no further
He's like the real world meets Boy Meets World meets Days of Our Lives
And it just kills me how he gets away with murder
He'll anger you then hold you tight, hold you tight with all his might

He's a nice person but he doesn't always act that way
His mood's out swinging on the swingset almost everyday
He said to me that he's "so stressed out it's soothing"
And all I said was, "Someone, get that guy a mood ring!"

Cause when it's black means watch your back because you're probably
The last person in the world right now he wants to see
And when it's blue it means that you should call him up immediately
and ask him out because he'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that he is really stressed
And when it's clear it means he's completely emotionless
And that's alright, I must confess...

We all know the guys that I am talking about
He liked you Wednesday but now it's Friday
and he has to wash his car
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
First he's Jekyll and then he's Hyde...
at least he makes a lovely pair.

Mood ring, oh mood ring
Oh tell me, will you bring
the key to unlock this mystery
Of guys and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the male mind...

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Erika on 9:14 PM
1 comments


Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Studying Politics

What I'm finding out this year is that relationships in high school are pretty much pointless. It's like a pencil with erasers at both ends...why would you want it or even need it? You can not give but only take away. Seriously. They're just convenient. That's the only reason I have friends right now, it's because of convenient relationships. Otherwise I doubt most people would even want to be my friend. They'd be just like everyone else who just writes me off these days. Inconstant, judgmental people who treat me better when I do one thing even though my beliefs and life are exactly the same in all situations. These are the politics of my friendships. I always feel like the odd person out whether this be true or false in life. But it's how I feel and it sucks.

These are the politics of our conversation: an idle chit chat constantly buzzing around the halls. Pointless and meaningless talk. I need someone to share my passions with...I seem to have a lot of those. I want my life to have meaning and purpose and I can't seem to find it right now. I go to a Christian school. But I won't kid myself, it's no Christian school. It's just like anywhere else, or worse because people know better and don't care; they toss it out their window of apathy. Their hearts are hard and ugly and people probably won't like it that I say that, but it's too bad because I did. And honestly I just wish some of them weren't in my life right now. Aren't Christians supposed to be building each other up???? Then how come at this "Christian" school am I constantly feeling torn down and alone? Is this a reflection of me??? Is this the reaction for my actions?

Generally, I am a judger. This is not always bad...but I analyze everything to death and I have opinions on most things...and if I am close enough to you I will spit them in your face (uh, not literally)...but I know my family just hates me for this but I can't help that I just load it all on them because they don't understand that I have no one else to tell it to. And I want to tell it to someone but at the same time I don't, this is mostly a fear: a fear of being rejected or hurt or used or abused...because I do believe teenagers can truly be horrible, and in one of the worst ways to be so. Yet, I am one of these horrible people. I am a jerk and it is my own fault that I sit at home alone every night. I just want to find someone who understands it. What it's like to be me, what it's like to always have to be responsible and on time and perfect, and what it's like to not be able to be "who I'm supposed to be".

Mr. Nickel says that I'm definitely not a normal teenage girl. I'm just not sure whether that's a compliment or not...but after he told me that I took this quiz online that was supposed to be able to guess about how old you are...and I got mid-late 20s. Go figure, but whatever. A part of me really wants to just get on with life, go to university, get a job, etc. and just move on from these crappy teenage years...but another part of me actually wants to be just like everyone else...and just have fun. But I'm not everybody else and I never will be. And Mr. Nickel also told me not to rush my life away, and if things improve maybe I'll even take him up on that offer. But right now I can't see a lot of significance in being 15, and I'd really just like to get through these teen years as quickly and as pain-free as possible. Which is kind of contradictory, because all of this does not fit in the "pain-free" category. But whatever. I am just having a hard time with this whole friends issue right now, and I ask for your prayer and your forgiveness. But if you ever want to talk to me about it, please don't use your typical teenage gibberish.

I just want to add, this blog was not meant to hurt any of my "friends" (and I'm sorry I'm putting you in quotation marks, but that's just how it is right now). You guys are good people...I am just trying to figure out who is true and who is not. I don't think you're jerks. I don't consider you awful people. I'm just stating what I have found to be true about people I know. It's too bad that I have to actually write these things. But yeah, no offence to anyone, I am just venting here. These are the politics of my life.

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Erika on 10:34 PM
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Monday, October 16, 2006
What's Important?

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are or want to become.

You never know who these people may be—a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger—but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will effect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles, you would never have realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, how can others?

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone, tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today is not the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.

Was it worth it?

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Erika on 10:02 PM
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Sunday, October 01, 2006
Here it Comes, a Beautiful Collision...

Right now, I'm loving David Crowder's album "A Collision". It's showing me that worship shouldn't be about tradition, but it shouldn't be about trying to be all cool or high and mighty either...it's about coming to God honestly, with an open heart full of adoration for Him. So anyway, here's lyrics from a song of his, "A Beautiful Collision":

The breaking makes a sound I never knew could be so beautiful and loud, fury filled and we collide.
So courageous until now, fumbling and scared.
So afraid You'll find me out, alone here with my doubt.
Here it comes, a beautiful collision is happening now.
There seems to be no end to where You begin and there I am, now You and I collide.
Something circling inside, spaciously you fly, infinite and wide, like the moon and sky collide.
Here it comes, here it comes now...

I'm learning that God and I colliding truly is wonderful.

When my depravity meets His divinity it is a beautiful collision.

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Erika on 2:24 PM
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